I have child support court tomorrow and need some advice please?

I am a 21 year old single mother to an amazing 19 month old little boy. His father is 38 (no he was not married when I was with him) so he is 17 years my senior I was young dumb and naive when I met him. I have made mistakes in my past but have stepped up to the plate for my amazing son. His father is another story.................... He is 38 with 2 other children from a previous marriage that he does take care of both physically and financially. However with my son he has failed to take care of him at all financially but does see him once or twice a week for a few hours each time and maybe has him 1 night overnight every 2-3 months. I have paid all medical expenses and all day to day expenses for my son since the day he was born. I have been bullied into not filing for child support but 7 months ago I decided to not allow myself to be bullied any longer and filed for the support. My son's father is a undercover police officer and makes very good money he just also likes to spend his money (on himself of course). He has 3 cars (nice cars) and 2 houses plus takes trips to Chicago at least twice a month. His support amount came to $237 every 2 weeks and all medical expenses but no back child support since I have never been on public aid which is fine. He want's the support to be at most $100 every 2 weeks and he agrees to have insurance on my son but any uncovered medical expenses he wants me to pay. In my state he is allowed to ask the court to reduce the amount which he has we have court tomorrow. He is going into this with an attorney and I however cannot afford one. I recieved his papers today from his attorney about what he is going to argue. He is claiming to have my son 147+ nights out of the year. This will reduce the amount if it were true. I am affraid he is going to win the case with his lying ***. I need some advice on what I should bring to court and who I should bring that could back up the fact that I have my son almost


%100 of the time and his father rarely has him overnight. I just need some advice from people who have gone threw this nightmare.|||E-mail me if you can. You need a lot of stuff, and you need to go in armed! Gosh it is so fricken much to go into on here, I have a lot of experience with this stuff and can give you a lot of info.|||If you contact a paralegal, you can get the advice you need for very cheap or even free. Some court websites have links to groups that will help also, generally free advice. The fact of the matter is the judge will most likely issue a custody arrangement as well as child support. You really need to obtain some legal advise though, you have been getting screwed here for awhile, not only that but you can ask the judge to have him pay for your lawyer fees.|||Just tell the truth,


Tell them that you really don't need the money , ( let alone any additional ) but that you love to punish him any way you can.|||keep a journal and show the judge the nights you say he has been there and do the best you can do. Sadly, child support is never enough I only hope you are wisely preparing yourself to care financially for yourself and your child as the years go by.|||I don't know how it is in Chicago but here in California, I was assigned a court attorney that represented the best interest of my son (notice, not for you but for the child). He/she will help you understand the legal process and what to file and where. If you go in to court tomorrow and you don't have a court appointed attorney, let the judge know and ask him/her for an extension until you can talk to someone (like free legal aid in your city). Bring all your paperwork pertaining to the child's expenses (receipts for doctor's visits, medication, child care, clothing, etc...). Bring a calendar with the days and times his father visits him to show the court the actual child sharing percentage. I made the mistake of saying "yes" to the courts when my child's father claimed that he had him 49% of the time when it was more like 25%. Tell the courts the truth, always the truth. You will most likely be ordered to go to mediation where they will determine who gets the child on what days, holidays, vacations, etc....which will help determine the child sharing percentage.





It is good and certainly your child's right to be supported by his father. You should not allow yourself to be "bullied" into anything by the father or his lawyer. If you don't understand something, write it down and ask the court, they are used to people who have lawyers who "bully" the ones that don't. Record everything, no matter how insignificant. What day he was seen by his father, what time, was he sick, was he late, was he early, etc....





I went through everything you went through and I researched everything on my own when I didn't even have a computer. I went to the library daily to research my rights, my son's rights, and went to the court at least once a week to talk to someone. I exhausted all avenues to make sure I had answers. Your son is entitled to be supported by both parents. Ask for health and dental insurance. Uncovered medical expenses that he doesn't want to pay will also be included in the court order, you will both be equally responsible for this, DO NOT agree to him NOT being responsible for this. Do not agree to anything his lawyer presents to you, no matter how "good" it sounds, how good of a "deal" he's giving you, how hard it would be to prove your side to the court, how expensive it would be for you, how much of a hassle and inconvenience it would be for you, his lawyer will say all these things and more to get you to sign to agree to anything they think of. DO NOT AGREE to anything UNTIL you consult a lawyer, or go to the free legal aid they have in every city/court. All you have to do is ask around the court or the judge himself/herself for this service. Make sure you have somebody else helping you read the papers that have a legal background, even a paralegal if you have no other choice. If you have no chance of asking one, tell the judge himself/herself that the father and his lawyer has offered you this agreement and you don't know if it will be fair to your child or to the both of you as parents. As I said earlier, the judge is used to seeing lawyers take advantage of people that don't have one.





I brought no one with me when I went to court every time to face the father. He had two different lawyers at two different times and he lost every time because I did my research. The courts will guide you, all you have to do is ask. They are there to make sure that every child is supported by both parents and will make sure that everybody is treated fairly. Once again, if you don't understand, ask and if you're not sure, don't sign anything without consulting someone. You will spend a lot of time talking to people, going to court, etc....if you don't have money for a lawyer (I didn't have money for one), do your research, there are a lot of resources out there. There are lawyers that also charge based on your income (sliding scale) but I had a free court-appointed attorney representing my child (and invariably me) and the state. They have plenty of information at the court for these.





Don't forget to ask (but I'm sure the courts will bring it up themselves) for child care expenses (my son's father had to pay 50%). Also about vacations, when child care is more during holidays and summer vacations (this will be more of an issue when the child is going to school). You say in your state he is allowed to ask to reduce the amount of child support but that's it. He can ask, doesn't mean he'll get it. The only thing that would warrant a reduction of child support is if he gets the child more. Even losing his job does not mean he gets a reduction. It just goes into arrears, speaking of which being on public aid (at least here in California) does not mean your son is not entitled to child support. By the way, just so you know, his ability to earn is what they consider in courts. For example, a doctor has fathered a child but he quits his job as a doctor to work at McDonald's as a cook. So his income has drastically decreased right? Well, the courts will see that he has the ABILITY TO EARN as a doctor so they will set the child support amount to what he should be paying as a doctor.





Don't forget you have as much rights as the father. You too can ask for a modification of child support whenever things change. If your child (knock on wood) needs extra medical attention not covered by insurance, if your child attends extra-curricular activities (not guaranteed if courts will order NCP=non-custodial parent to share with expenses), when child is of age to go to school (summer vacations, camps, child care when out of school, school expenses), cost of living goes up, his income goes up (promotion), child sharing percentage changes, etc....Here in California, when a CP (custodial parent) asks for a modification of child support, the courts have a system (calculator) to help determine how much child support the NCP needs to pay and (for example) if a CP asks for a modification, the courts will determine before you even go forward with the request to see if there will be a difference of AT LEAST $50 in the current child support order given the new information/circumstances you or he provides. If they deem that there is at least $50, then you can go forth with pursuing the modification in child support order. Basically they make sure that it is worth everybody's time to go to court.





This is coming from my experience here in California but I am assuming all courts want what's best for the child and that both parents are responsible.