Help me make my essay longer?

can i change some words or more info i need 2 pages





Mario Valenzuela


periond-1








John D. Rockefeller





John D. Rockefeller was famous for his welth.He was born on July 8, 1839 on a farm in Richford, New York. He has been raised a baptist faith. He was one out of the six children in his family. His father was a traviler which chared 25$ for cancer tretments he was gone for months at a time. When he was a four year old boy hes family moved away forom Richford to Mora, New York. when he was sevn years old he raised and sold turkes as a small bussiness. Later in 1851 he moved again to Owego, New York wher he went to Owego Academy. He was avle to sove difficult arithmetic prolems in his head. This tallent was very usful for his buissnes career. Later he moved to Chevend, Ohio wher he went to high school form 1853 to 1855. He was good at mathe and was on a debating team. in 1855 the lift his high scool and took a six month bussiness course at a college. He got his first job at six teen working as a bookkeepr's assistant for a small produce commission business called "Hewtt %26amp; Tuttle". His frist tree mounthe salary was fithy dollers.


John D. Rockefeller was a very secsessful man. He was the first billionar in america ansd later the worlds richest man in his time. In 1859 John started his own commisson housing business withe his pattner Marrice B. Clark the buisness was caled "Clark %26amp; Rockefeller's". Later in 1863 he build an oil refinery directly owned by "Clark %26amp; Rockefeller".He saw more in standard oil. Rockefeller's partners wher his brother William Rockefeller, Henry Flagler, Samuel Andrews and Stephen. Later Rckefeller merged with the railroad companies. This got him control of the transportation route that no other companies would be avle to use. this made it hard for the competition to keep up with the Standard Oil company. Later twenty five companies gace in and wher bought out by the Standard Oil company.One ot fhem being Clevli brothrs which he bought for $72,000. The twenty companies made up 20% of the oil industry in America. The company was taken to the Superime Cort twice. He offically retired in 1991. His peak of wealthe was $318.3 billion at the age of 74.


Hin 1864 he got married to Larra Spelman in september 8 at Larras parants house. He ended up having tree dauthers and one son. His mother thought him to give when he was young. Rockefeller waws a very jenerus man hin 1884 he gave $6,000 to a school for black wemen. Soon renamed Spelman college after his wifes parents. Later he gave $600,000 to a small school in Chicago, Illionos. Later became the University of Chicago. His auto biography called "random Remirilcences" was published in 1990. IN his hol life he donated half a billon dollers to good causes. This made him a model for all philantropist that follow. His wife died in Pscantico Hills, New York. John D. Rockefeller died of old age in Ormand Beach, Florida May 23, 1937. He lived to be 97 years old almost reached his goal of 100.


John D. Rockefeller is remembared as on of the richest min in America. He was the founder of the Standerd Oil company. Also he was hard working and remempered as a philantropust. What I found iterestiong is that he was very religous. Also that he didn't like to speck in public and was very generus.I lernd that he is responsibule for many companys and schools still used today.|||1) you have a good timeline of his life. Add how the events influenced him.





I fixed the spelling


John D. Rockefeller was famous for his wealth.He was born on July 8, 1839 on a farm in Richford, New York. He has been raised a Baptist faith. He was one out of the six children in his family. His father was a traveler which charged 25$ for cancer treatments he was gone for months at a time. When he was a four year old boy his family moved away from Richford to Mora, New York. when he was seven years old he raised and sold turkeys as a small business. Later in 1851 he moved again to Owego, New York where he went to Owego Academy. He was able to solve difficult arithmetic problems in his head. This talent was very useful for his business career. Later he moved to Cleveland, Ohio where he went to high school form 1853 to 1855. He was good at math and was on a debating team. in 1855 the lift his high schools and took a six month business course at a college. He got his first job at six teen working as a bookkeeper's assistant for a small produce commission business called "Hewtt %26amp; Tuttle". His first tree month's salary was fifty dollars.


John D. Rockefeller was a very successful man. He was the first billionaire in America and later the worlds richest man in his time. In 1859 John started his own commission housing business withe his partner Marrice B. Clark the business was called "Clark %26amp; Rockefeller's". Later in 1863 he build an oil refinery directly owned by "Clark %26amp; Rockefeller".He saw more in standard oil. Rockefeller's partners where his brother William Rockefeller, Henry Flagler, Samuel Andrews and Stephen. Later Rockefeller merged with the railroad companies. This got him control of the transportation route that no other companies would be able to use. this made it hard for the competition to keep up with the Standard Oil company. Later twenty five companies gave in and where bought out by the Standard Oil company.One of them being Clevli brothrs which he bought for $72,000. The twenty companies made up 20% of the oil industry in America. The company was taken to the Supreme Court twice. He officially retired in 1991. His peak of wealth was $318.3 billion at the age of 74.


In 1864 he got married to Larra Spelman in September 8 at Larras parents house. He ended up having tree daughters and one son. His mother thought him to give when he was young. Rockefeller was a very generous man. In 1884 he gave $6,000 to a school for black women. Soon renamed Spelman college after his wife's parents. Later he gave $600,000 to a small school in Chicago, Illinois. Later became the University of Chicago. His auto biography called "Random Reminiscences" was published in 1990. IN his whole life he donated half a billion dollars to good causes. This made him a model for all philanthropist that follow. His wife died in Pscantico Hills, New York. John D. Rockefeller died of old age in Ormand Beach, Florida May 23, 1937. He lived to be 97 years old almost reached his goal of 100.


John D. Rockefeller is remembered as on of the richest min in America. He was the founder of the Standard Oil company. Also he was hard working and remembered as a philanthropist. What I found interesting is that he was very religious. Also that he didn't like to speck in public and was very generous learned that he is responsible for many companies and schools still used today.|||Your spelling is atrocious, my friend, lol. How many pages do u have so far? I think it is a perfect length. Good luck. %26lt;%26gt;%26lt;|||An introduction firstly introducing John D. Rockefeller (Achievements, legacy, what he did for the world etc), would greatly improve the start of your essay; also, introduce a topic sentence (eg. What are you going to talk about in the essay?). Also use a hook (Eye catching opening sentence that persuades the reader to read on). Also, it sounds like a biographical essay, so, in your conclusion, I wouldn't use words such as "I", it makes the essay seem informal and you may lose marks for it; since it's not an opinionated essay, you can't really express your opinion (Unless your teacher has told you so) because the essay is way too formal. In the conclusion, you must some up all the points you covered (Maybe Rockefeller's philanthropy, overall achievements and legacy) and also sum up the topic sentence.





Good luck!