In short I’ve seen some very questionable things at my brother’s in-law’s house: a KKK keychain on his father-in-law’s truck keys, an antigovernment pamphlet (that includes diagrams on how to shoot police in riot gear so that you miss their armor) and a picture of Adolf Hitler hanging in the garage. Add to that, my brother’s wife added my entire family to her “joke email” list which was fine until she emailed us some Christmas poem about Barrack Obama %26amp; I had to yell at them %26amp; tell them not to send crap like that to our family. When I talk to my brother about it, he says that his father-in-law is just joking about that stuff. I’m not stupid though, I know it’s not a joke. I would like to see his hillbilly father-in-law come to Chicago (where we’re from) with his KKK keychain and see how much of a joke it is.
I have to issues:
1. My wife is ? Filipino (she’s also Italian) %26amp; people basically think she’s Hispanic. Though nothing has every happened, I’m never comfortable bringing my wife to anywhere his in-laws are at (especially their home) because I feel like it’s only a matter of time before some type of comment is made. When my wife wasn’t around, my brother made a few comments like calling the lady’s that worked in the Filipino restaurant by his house “Flips” and he once even told me even referred to my wife as a LBFM which is basically what guys in the Navy called Filipino prostitutes when they were in Manila during the Vietnam War…Little Brown F***ing Machines. The odd part, my brother’s father-in-law is of age to have been in Vietnam, so I’m not sure if that was something out of his mouth. That was about six years ago %26amp; I went off on my brother so he hasn’t said something like that ever again.
2. My brother announced at Christmas that he’s reading Mein Kampf by Adolf Hitler “to get the other perspective of WWII.” My brother has always been proud that our Grandpa fought in WWII but his past makes me nervous, like he’s being lead around by his father-in-law. My brother is a follower, which is how he ended up in the Skinhead thing in high school in the first place.
How do I handle this?
I realize that my brother wouldn’t have married into a family like this if he didn’t share the same opinions, but how do I talk to him about it? Or do I just leave it alone until it effects me again?|||It is very sad that your brother has chosen to be ignorant. You however, do not have to be effected by this, choose to keep him out of your life. YOu can confront him (the only real way to do anything about it) and say it's either the KKK or you-his brother-should he choose the KKK then let him have it. Or you can simply step away. Do not give him the chance to lie to you or hurt your wife in anyway and step away from him. Do not speak to him, should he question why tell him flat out, racism is not part of your life and anything or anyone that is racist is also not a part of your life! People so caught up in things like this do not take hints and do not change over night, you must be strong, blunt, and openly disapproval of his actions.
Either way I think you will end up loosing a brother when all the smoke clears.|||I'm sensing that even though you probably love your brother it would do you sanity a whole lot of good if you start distancing yourself from him. You can do this two ways, either fade away quietly or tell him you don't believe in anything racist. What a shame he has chosen that path. You know him best so you have to decide how you are going to handle it. Good luck.
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