I'm 30 years old, recently married to a great girl, and stuck in Houston, a city I'm really not fond of. I'm a graphic designer, lover of live music and culture, and the great outdoors. My dream cities to live in would be Austin, Portland, Chicago (lived there for two years), or (if money were no object) San Francisco or NYC. Heck, I wouldn't even mind my home state in Salt Lake City.
But as I said, I'm really "stuck" in Houston. I hate to say it, but I really hate it here. Houston has a very weak design community, weak music scene, it's dirty, it's muggy, sprawled, fat, no public transportation other than buses...the list goes on. I'm politically moderate, but I'd be lying if I said the overabundance of Hummer-driving, Glenn Beck-loving, low-information conservatives in the suburbs didn't drive me nuts, too. Not trying to offend anyone, I just have to be honest - it bums me out.
"Stop whining and move!" you might say. Well, it's not that simple. I can't leave because my wife owns a very localized business here that can't move to another city. This business is her dream and I could never ask her to give it up. Her entire family is here too. But at the same time, her insistence on starting this business (regardless of how I felt about it) has forced me to commit to living in a city not of my choosing, it's depressing me, and I'm starting to feel my resentment growing. I'm not without options, but the options are either she gives up her dream and a substantial family investment (so we can relocate) and resents me, I stay here miserable and resent her, or we divorce and we're both miserable. I do love her and we have a wonderful relationship - so that seems like the dumbest option of all. Me sucking it up seems like the least bad option.
Don't get me wrong - there are worse places to live than Houston. Detroit and LA come to mind. There are indeed some cool areas and fun things to do in Houston if you look hard enough, and living here is very affordable (for the most part). But I hate the traffic, the weather, the dirtiness, the lack of local culture (no, sh*tty "rap" music does not count), the lack of originality or local spirit, the sprawl...it's just not the kind of place I saw myself spending the best years of my life, building a career and raising a family. We're about to close on a house here (our first) so these concerns are almost all I think about anymore. More than anything, I just can't escape the feeling that I'm missing out on something better suited to me, and by the time I discover where "better for me" is, it'll be too late. I am just not thriving here.
Any advice appreciated - I don't know who else to turn to. Thanks in advance|||I am in a similar predicament. I live in Salt Lake City, have been here most of my life. It's not terrible, but it's not great either. The people here (some of them, not all) are kind of clannish, they(some of them) have a reputation for being cheapskates, sloppy, set in their ways (refuse to think outside the box), and they have a bad reputation for driving like maniacs.
The typical cliche here is, "Welcome to Utah. If you don't like it, you can leave!" Oh Puh-lease! That's the oldest cliche in the book, next to "With every fiber of my being...." or "I hear he's not a member..."
Anyway, I have a mortgage to contend with. Jobs are scarce right now. I can't just up and move. It takes some serious planning. Sure, I'd love to move out of state, and I'll probably do that eventually, but right now I'm stuck here, so how do I cope?
I cope by doing a lot of traveling. I'm fortunate to work for a company that offers 3 weeks of PTO a year, and they shut down for most federal holidays. Hardly a month goes by when we don't have a paid holidy, which makes it nice.
I love cruising, taking day trips, staying at nice, all-inclusive resorts, that sort of thing. I also enjoy the internet. I love sites like youtube and FML. I know that no matter how badly I think my life might suck, (and trust me, I've had more than my fair share of some serious whammies!) somebody, somewhere has got it much, much worse!
Living in a place I'm not exactly fond of CAN be entertaining though. Most people have to pay good money to be this entertained! I mean think about it; there are always plenty of looneys around here to read up on in the news, like Brian Mitchell, Senator Hatch, etc. (Check out ksl.com) The idea is to learn how to be happy where you're at, while you're on the way to where you're going. I can make my own fun. Maybe I can't just up and move right now, but I've found that it is possible to be IN Utah without necessarily being OF it.|||I mock my local Cross Guy. It's okay, though. He beats his wife.|||You're buying your first house. It's natural to feel a bit nervous, like you're giving something up by putting in roots. My advice would be to see how you feel in a few months after you've been living in your house, also it sounds like you need a hobby or some involvement with the community.|||yeah ive heard it sucks....if youre making allot of money there or have someone to share life with it helps..are they any suburbs that are better?|||Get a good job, make a strict budget, save every penny you can, and then GET THE HECK OUT!!!
I KNOW this is the only thing you can do in order to make hell a decent place to be - is to plan ahead a route to get out.|||you just got to hand it over to God dude.....perhaps there is something that He needs you to do/or to learn in the place where you are now....He knows what is in your heart and what you desire...do His will and not your own..and reap the blessings he has for you....and in His time, you will be able to move on...|||Oh, I hear you. I'm in the same situation (same age also), except for the family thing...or at least it's only her mom and brother.
My biggest problem is finding a job in another city...which I might hate also since I hate cities, but they say a change is as good as a holiday.
Here in South Africa we call it a Catch 22 Situation...either way, you're f*cked.
Sorry, I really don't have advice, just a ear that can hear.
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